In this occasional series I look at a cartoon and how it can be improved.
Today I’m looking at a cartoon that I received some feedback on.
This cartoon was used to help illustrate a series of points covered during a Zoom call with Sean D’Souza of Psychotactics. One of the topics being discussed was how we can build confidence in students and clients.
The feedback I received is in bold italic.
Hm, you lost me on that last cartoon.
My reply: The idea was to start off with mice to build confidence and then work the way up to lions.
I guess the fact that the guy wasn't in an outfit or didn't have anything that would have to do with a lion, is likely the reason. For one, a cat might be logical rather than a rat. And secondly he needed to be in costume. Finally, he needs to be doing what he would do with real lions—but instead with a cat.
Version II.
Taking onboard the feedback, I did this second version. After I completed it I started thinking about if there was anything else I could improve.
I thought that the bright red jackets might be distracting attention away from the main focal point of the cartoon - the cat.
Version III.
So I tried this version, making the cat a brighter orange, and giving the other characters grey oufits, as well as graying the pedestal.
Final Version.
The grey outfits didn’t seem ‘showy’ enough for a lion tamer, so I instead opted to reduce the brightness of the red jackets instead. I also made the pedestal blue to contrast with the orange of the cat.
Over To You
How about taking a look over some of your own cartoons and see if there is anything you can change. Here are a few ideas to think about.
What is the main focal point of the cartoon?
Does anything distract the viewers eye away from the focal point?
Could a character or object be swapped out for another more effective one?