Cartoon Guide To Golden Retrievers

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The lovable and energetic Golden Retriever is one of the world’s most popular dog breeds, featuring in the top ten breed lists in North America, the UK, Australia, and probably even some countries you’d struggle to place on the map.

Hello Stranger!

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Golden Retrievers have many fine qualities, however they don’t make the best of watchdogs due to their gentle nature and general trusting. Intruders are liable to be licked to death!

Great Focus

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Golden Retrievers have great focus, something which their owners sometimes lack. The reason for the Golden’s ability to focus so well is due to their heritage of being hunting dogs and thus able to concentrate for long periods of time. A further reason, as speculated by Professor Eugene Quince of the university of Eastern Gringeville, is that as they lack opposable thumbs they are unable to easily grasp and operate a smartphone and thus aren’t distracted by the devices.

Due to their nature as hunting dogs, Goldens have a great ability to sit patiently and focus for long periods of time. One dog, ‘Gertie’, even took place in the opening round of the 1957 British open chess championship, where she was holding her own against Strangspelski, until he finally managed to distract her using a duck he had smuggled into the tournament.

Goldens are mouthy and are happy when they have something to carry in their mouths. In 1949, ‘Bob’ carried an egg for a record distance of 234 miles, unfortunately by the time he had reached his destination the egg had gone off and thus the full English breakfast that his owner was planning was spoiled.

Grooming

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Of course the owner doesn’t always appreciate their pets love of the water, especially if the dog wants to give them a reminder of where they’ve just been.

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Due to to their water-loving nature, Golden Retrievers may get much joy out of bath time...not so much the owner if they are trying to get their dog back into smart shape after a dip into a particularly grotty pond.

Goldens shed, particularly in the spring and autumn. If you are going to keep a Golden you have to able able to get used to dog hair. Edna Potts managed to knit a sweater out of the hair shed by her dog, ‘Sydney’.

The Outdoor Life

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A Golden could make the perfect pet for someone who is into an outdoor lifestyle.

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Goldens are an ideal size to scramble in and out of boats. What better than a trip on the water? Plenty of opportunities to jump into it!

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Goldens love the water and are great swimmers. In 1961,  Emilia Kerbstone was accompanied by his dog, ‘Bessie’, as she swam across the English Channel. She wasn’t intending to take Bessie with him, but in his preparations swim to France he had forgotten to take her for her morning walk. She paddled behind her for the entire swim carrying her lead in her mouth. When they got to France she was still perfectly willing to go for walkies, however, Emily at this point was completely knackered and unable to oblige.

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Niv Ratel came up with the idea of water chariot racing, utilizing a small dinghy towed by his two Retrievers Benjy and Bongo. He was three times consecutive world champion from 1972 - 1974. He was the only one who entered.

Born To Retrieve!

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Golden Retrievers are still highly regarded as working dogs. This one however looks like some sort of endangered species....best not to report it...

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True to their name, Golden Retrievers are happy to retrieve pretty much anything…even things that don’t need retrieving…

Stay Agile!

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The breed thrives on agility tests, especially when there is some sort of novelty involved. 

A Helping Paw

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Due to their high intelligence and calm temperamental,  Goldens make ideal service dogs, as either guide or assistance dogs. Some particularly smart dog, Trick, was even able to make ATM withdrawals on behalf of his owner. Not only that, but was also able to use his ‘nose’ for business by getting in early when the price of dog biscuits crashed.

Keep ‘Em Busy!

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Goldens need a lot of exercise and are definitely not happy to spend long periods of time being cooped up inside.

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Keeping a Golden is usually a guarantee of getting a lot of exercise…though sometimes it might  prove to be a little difficult to keep up with the dog.

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Remember, a tired Golden is a well-behaved Golden…mind you they may take some tiring out.

One Of The Family

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Great with kids and  families, Goldens are happy to join in games with all members of the family, big and small.

Golden Retriever puppies are of course unbelievably cute, but even so the ratio of cute Golden puppy pictures to cute cat pictures is something like 1 to 136,000. (Statistic provided by the Cat fanciers club of Belgium.)

Related breeds include the Golden Slumberer, a most remarkably inactive breed quite happy to while away the days being bone-idle; and the Golden Sender which was bred by Horace Splod in an attempt to get the dogs to dispose of the ghastly knitted sweaters that he kept receiving every birthday and Christmas from his aunt Ethel.